My dearest Emmy,

I have read your post yesterday and swore I was going to stay out of it...and then I just read the post that you put on your FB about coming to see us and decided that I wasn't going to just sit here quietly! First and foremost, I want you to know that I love you unconditionally no matter what you say or do. With that being said, your using the Rentz Family to make your Mom mad and that is just not right. I don't know the details of your issues with your Mom and you might have some legitimate reasons for being mad at her. There are so many other factors that play into this that you are just to young to understand. You cant possibly understand that your Mother loves you with every with every inch of her soul. You cant understand that because you have never carried a baby for 9 months and had her delivered into your arms. You have never gone through the easy years of dirty diapers, throwing up, falling down, getting boo boos, being sick with a high fever, etc...like I said the easy years. Then came those teen years. Wow...I can guarantee when your Mom held you in her arms for the very first time....she never knew what she had just signed up for....the Teen Years! These are the years that as parents we probably make our most mistakes and almost always make the most with our oldest child. We cant help it. You begin to grow apart and we begin to hold on tighter. We don't want you to go through any of the painful things that we went through. We want you to listen to us because we have been there and we know. If you would just listen you would have a GREAT life! Right? Well, not exactly. You have to make your own mistakes and you have to do your own thing whether we like it or not. Its your life...not ours. But that doesn't mean that we are not going to try and make you see it our way. That doesn't mean that we are not going to worry to death about the decisions that you are making. And of course, when it all falls apart like we knew it would..we will be there to pick up the pieces...but you better be ready for an I told you so and now can you please get your act together! That's what we do...we are Mothers! There will always be a big debate about why you didn't grow up knowing us...and there are two sides to that story with both sides actually feeling justified that they did the right thing...or wrong thing depending on which side your sitting on. However, my sweet niece, we are only fun because we didn't have the opportunity to guide you through your growing years. We have never had to hold you responsible for anything because we simply weren't there to be a part of that. We would have...we would have held you accountable just like I am going to hold you accountable right now. Don't use us to hurt your Mom. We love you and don't deserve that. Your Mom loves you and deserves to not have your dirty laundry aired all over Facebook! Let me tell you a story...when I was a teenager I couldn't wait to get away from my Mother. She was a control freak and thought she could run my life. It is actually why I live in Wisconsin. I left the state to get away from her. Now, years later, I know my Mom was a control freak...but I understand that there is so much more to it. There was her childhood, her own insecurities, her upbringing, her pain and her experiences that she was trying to protect me from. She didn't understand that if she protected me from everything and only did what she wanted that I wouldn't be truly living my life...I would be living what she wished she had lived. I understand so much more because I have carried babies for 9 months and I have loved them, cared for them and made mistakes with them. Everything that I did, I did out of love! Can you believe that I have tried to protect them from making the biggest mistakes of their lives? This fun Aunt! The one that is always cool?! Yep, I have! I had to learn to hold on loosely but never let go! I still pick up the pieces when things go bad for them. Oh how I wish I could go back to the easy years. When they turned 18 I was so excited. My job was almost done....HaHaHa! Laugh was on me. There problems only got worse after 18 and I cant fix them anymore. I cant put a band aid on it and kiss it all better. It doesn't stop me from worrying and crying and trying to preach to them about what they should be doing. Then they snap at me and I realize that I crossed the line because they are adults now. So, give your Mom a chance sweetie, she is trying to Hold on loosely but it is not an easy thing to learn to do. Don't throw us in her face. She felt she was doing the right thing years ago and who knows ...maybe she did, maybe she didn't...but its all in the past now. Embrace your entire family, don't play them against each other, be an adult and always try to find the compromise. I love you and I hope I helped you understand this a little better! Love, Aunt Tammy